This was too good to just forward. And to agree with My Girly Girl...it makes me all squishy inside too.


A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"
"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.
"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.
"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up."

The man gestured, and the gate began to open.
"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.
"Excuse me!" he called to the man. "Do you have any water?"
"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in."
"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.
"There should be a bowl by the pump."

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.
When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.
"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.
"This is Heaven," he answered.
"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."
"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell."
"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"
"No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind."

Soooo...

Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word.
Maybe this will explain.

When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward jokes.

When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes.

When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how, you forward jokes.

Also to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get?

A forwarded joke.

So, next time if you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.

You are all welcome @ my water bowl anytime.

Soooo....

Not quite a month has passed since I last blogged. I had a whack of good blog fodder from my Hawaiian vacation February 16 to 26, 2007 including pictures...it was gonna be a heck of a good read. Plus the sis-in-law's wedding reception in which I totally had too much fun, decided I'd try and smoke a cigar with the guys (knowing that I totally can't handle smoke around me and trying it was f'fing stupid but...did it anyways) and then totally had stories to tell about the next morning at the gift opening where I decided Myluc and I are going to run away and people can give us money....

But...

Here I am in Calgary, Alberta. Not quite a week. Arrived here last Tuesday morning after getting home on the Sunday evening after the gift opening, going to bath room and finding out via telephone messages that my poor mum had had a very serious single vehicle car accident. It was horrible. She was in a medicated coma with broken right wrist, broken left forearm, wrist and smashed hand, her left elbow was dislocated and a N shaped 15-18 stitch cut above her left eye until Wednesday when she woke up, began talking and responded with a very loud "SHUT UP" when I told her she looked silly without her teeth. It totally made my day.

I am happy to say though that as of today she has had most of the tubing removed (oxygen and iv), her facial bruising is healing, the orthopaedic surgeon has worked on her left hand, she can now move her right fingers, loved the semi-manicure I gave her (guck on her hand and fingers from last week...it just had to be removed), hates the fact that her left arm is really heavy and aches and she is really pissed off she can't have pizza and beer, a steak sandwich and really any food that isn't hospital food and o'course a smoke. Heavy smoker since she was 19 going on 52 on the 21st she's having a hard time with the forced quitting. I can only hope though, being the only non-smoker in the family that she will not start again. Wishful thinking I know but I'm thinking those thoughts anyways..

I want to thank those of you who have called, texted or emailed for your well wishes and prayers. Mum is doing much better and hopefully I will be back home soon.

Hopefully I can resume to semi-regular blogging soon.

Thank you for checking up if you have and even if you just lurk.

*HUGE HUGS*

Happy Valentines Day!

To those who have loves and to those who don't. Have a great day with chocolate and flowers and candy just for you.

BLECCH!

*HUGE HUGS*

I gotta kiss this morning....and it was not chocolate!

The Kitchen Bitch

A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room.

She heard the train stop and her son saying, "All of you sons of bitcheswho want off, get the hell off now... cause this is the last stop! And all ofyou sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses on the train...cause we're going down the tracks.

The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train...butI want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the boy came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say... "All passengers please remember your things, thank you and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon."

She heard her little darling continue...

"For those of you just boarding, remember, there is no smoking in the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who arepissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	4.9
Mind:	4.6
Body:	5.7
Spirit:	5.8
Friends/Family:	4.2
Love:	8.5
Finance:	5.9
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Your Life Analysis:

Life: Your life rating is a score of the sum total of your life, and accounts for how satisfied, successful, balanced, capable, valuable, and happy you are. The quiz attempts to put a number on the summation of all of these things, based on your answers. Your life score is on the low end. Making key changes to different aspects of your life will bring you greater fulfillment. Do not be discouraged. Seek help outside yourself if need be. There is always time to change, and change will bring many rewards.

Mind: Your mind rating is a score of your mind's clarity, ability, and health. Higher scores indicate an advancement in knowledge, clear and capable thinking, high mental health, and pure thought free of interference. Your mind score is rather low, which means that your mental state is not in tune. Learn to filter out the noise of everyday life. Unplug, relax, read a good book. Take up a new area of study. Simplify and focus your mental energy and your mind function will improve.

Body: Your body rating measures your body's health, fitness, and general wellness. A healthy body contributes to a happy life, however many of us are lacking in this area. Your body score is fairly average, which means there is room for improvement. Keep a focus on your physical health. Protect your body as it is your most valuable physical asset. Nutrition, stress reduction, and exercise are key.

Spirit: Your spirit rating seeks to capture in a number that elusive quality which is found in your faith, your attitude, and your philosophy on life. A higher score indicates a greater sense of inner peace and balance. Your spirit score leaves room for improvement. Consider making a concerted effort to redefine your attitudes and focus your beliefs. Boosting your spirit will lead to greater life satisfaction.

Friends/Family: Your friends and family rating measures your relationships with those around you, and is based on how large, healthy, and dependable your social network is. Your friends and family score suffers, yet it does not need to be this way. Strengthen your social network by reaffirming old bonds. Seek out new friendships, and they will provide you the reward you need.

Love: Your love rating is a measure of your current romantic situation. Sharing your heart with another person is one of life's most glorious, terrifying, rewarding experiences. Your love score is very high, which means you are in a very happy situation right now. Do all you can to keep it strong.

Finance: Your finance rating is a score that rates your current financial health and stability. Your finances are somewhat in the middle, neither bad or exceptional. Keep doing what works for you, and improve what doesn't. Focus on long-term financial stability as your goal.

Superstitions

Question: If a black cat crosses your path what is your reaction? Do you get those stand up hairs on the back of your neck? Do you try and get ahead of the black cat?

This morning a black cat crossed my path, I knew that I wouldn't get ahead so I just deemed that today would be a bad day...then a white cat crossed my path. Does this mean that the white cat deleted the black cats crossing?

My hrmm for the morning.

Sooo...the weekend.

I went to the bank Saturday morning. Restarted another GIC and the RRSP and created a budget beginning March 1 so that I will have $10,000 by next March. I'm nervous but I believe I can do it and not go too crazy....*fingers crossed*

Went home, wanted a nap but didn't. Left to go and meet Sprout and Robin, came back because I forgot my contacts...left again...went right to the condo instead of the liquor store because it was pouring rain.

Met Sprout, saw his pelvic superman symbol tattoo. I just didn't know that he liked superman even...I feel kinda like a bad sister. We went for lunch at the Cactus Club and then the liquor store where I picked up 2 kinds of sourpuss for the party. It's kinda sis-in-law and my thing I think....

The boys left and I cleaned up a bit. Put out leis and chocolate caramel popcorn from The Nutman and some malibu filled chocolate. Cracked the glow in the dark stir sticks...the girls were supposed to be there at 6. *sigh* from 6 to 7 they kept calling my cell for directions. Totally sucked because I don't drive and I could only say call me when you get to the downtown core...I don't know where the turn off on Hwy 1 is...gawd...I was so frustrated.

So then then all get there and rush up to the condo...downing drinks like there's no tomorrow because the reservations at Steamworks were for 7. Get to Steamworks and I call 2 who were driving. Kay...straight stretch from Hamilton/Homer down to Waterfront...they ended up in English Bay...finally they arrive...we have a good dinner...drank some Mohitos which were horrid but made me think of the awesome lunch we had at the airport that time....and then we cab it to Library Square. Where the fox n' firkin was...now a club. No cover before 10. All but the 2 who I think could get lost in a square room did not have to pay. They were late. We had rounds of shots...I got frustrated and had a beer and a shot of tequila. I watched sis-in-law flirt and oh my goodness can that girl drink...it was too funny. Danced, met Brendan and Dave...one Aussie and one really drunk Canadian guy who just wanted to rub on me. *shudder*

At 1230 2 of the 8 wanted to go because their feet hurt and they were tired. I couldn't get anyone ready to go. Finally I had enough...ttold them 5 minutes or they could call me and I'd let them in.

Back to the condo...in pjs and the girls some are ready for bed and some are talking and laughing really loud. At 230 I because like the housematron of a bunch of girl guides keeping them shushed. 3 to a bed (x2), one on the couch, one streched between the chair and ottoman (she was tiny ... Hee hee...her name was Tina). They all complained it was hot...I was freezing.

I shared a bed with Amy (bitchy n' grouchy when tired and ready for bed) and Ashley (too freakin' hot and too movey). I was up at 311, 426, 615 and 820. Finally at 820 I went and sat in a chair, legs flung over the side with every blanket I could find and we all crashed to 1030. Then they all freaked cuz the wanted to be gone by 11.

They were out the door and away by 11. I couldn't go because I hadn't been given instructions on what to do with the keys. The door didn't have a deadbolt, no mailslot and I couldn’t slide the key under the door. I dozed on and off waiting to hear from Jared and Robin. Finally at 230 they called and said just take the key and we'll meet you for lunch tomorrow.

I got home at 4...kinda bitched and whined to 5..crashed to 630 then sis-in-law and bman took a break from unpacking and came over for pizza with Luc and I. We all looked very tired...sis-in-law was totally hungover. They left and I was in bed by 9.

*phew*

I'll see if I can get permission from the girls to post pictures. Pretty tame I must say.