Thursday Funny

A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound forPittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too. He says to him, "Hey, this is a coincidence. We both have black eyes. Mind if I ask how you got yours?"

The other guy says, "Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident. I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with massive breasts was there. So, instead of saying, I'd like two tickets to Pittsburgh ,' I accidentally said, 'I'd like two pickets to Tittsburgh'. So she socked me a good one."

The first guy replied, "Wow! This is unbelievable! Mine was a tongue twister, too. I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my wife, "Please pour me a bowl of Frosties,honey." But I accidentally said, ' You ruined my life, you evil, self-centered, fat-assed, bitch.'"

*shakes head* what a coinkidink huh

Paths/Decisions

I have been thinking lately of the paths/decisions I have chosen and what might of been if I had wondered down the other one.

If I had not decided at 15 to tell my parents I would move in with my Grandparents because I was tired of being beaten by my father would my mom have decided to stay "for the kids".

If I had not decided to confront my father and tell him what I thought of him what would I think of him now?

If I had not decided to move in with my Grandparents instead of moving back to Elkford would I be working at the Coalmine, have a few kids, be an alcoholic and single?

If I had not decided to move in with Paige where would I be? Still working in Trail *sigh*

If I had decided right then when my Uncle L said come to Lillooet and work with me instead of saying I'll call you back...would I still be there?

If I decided not to work as a nanny for my cuz Dakota and move back to Sparwood would I have moved to Vancouver all the sooner?

If my aunt had not been so convinced that I was abusing Dakota knowing my history and how I so would not hit a child...would I have stayed his Nanny?

If Tami had not called and said we're moving to Prince George c'mon down...would I still be in the East Kootenays?

If I had found a job right away...on my own...would I have not ended up on welfare?

If I had chose cooking over security would I be still in Prince George?

If I had decided to go with Tami to Peace River instead of trying on my own to stay stable in Prince George by myself would we have stayed in Upper Alberta?

If I had not missed my Mom so much I dropped/quite everything to go back to Elkford would I still be in Prince George doing security at the Pulp Mill?

If Mom's husband hadn't been such an ass and Erin hadn't called telling me come to Vancouver they're jobs here...would I still be in Elkford? working at the Coal Mine. Single. With kids?

*phew* And that's the beginning. I've been here in/at the Lower Mainland since 1997.

Long List of Questions
1. So far who did you talk to the most today? My boss Tom
2. What is the best name for a butler?Charles
3. What is the thing you are picked on most about?My hatred of math
4. What was your last weird encounter?Hmmm…
5. What’s the weirdest story of one of your scars?Hit in the eye with one of those pump up rocket toys
6. Do you remember the part from Bambi when Bambi learns to say bear?Nope
7. What color is your toothbrush?Green and white
8. What is your middle name?Danielle
9. Can you eat well with chopsticks?Totally
10. What odd things creep you out?When MyLuc tries out accents…it’s just not right
11. Have you ever felt an earthquake?Yes
12. What do you do with the hot grease when you’re done cooking bacon?Dump it down the drain and run hot water for a few minutes
13. How many good friends do you have?Too many to count
14. What’s the weirdest thing you have ever eaten?Chocolate covered grasshopper
15. What color are your socks today?No socks
16. What is your favorite word that starts with the letter G?Great
17. Who do you blame for your mood today?Myself
18. If Ricky Martin had a trademark what would it be?She bang. She bang.
19. What is something scientists need to invent?Donno
20. What is the closest object to your left foot?Dictation Peddle
21. Who is your favorite Golden Girl?Rose.
22. Do you have an inside joke that has to do with numbers?Too many to count
23. What is the longest amount of hours you have slept in a row?10 or 12
24. What story do you tell most often?How washing Sara upset me
25. How do ugly people make you feel?What ugly people?
26. Where was your mother’s hometown?St. Stephen New Brunswick
27. Where was your father's hometown?Casino, British Columbia
28. What are the posters on your walls?Some Unicorns, some Ducks and some Elvis and o’course my Girl
29. Say two words that rhyme.Ring Thing
30. Do you use online terms in real life?I don’t think so
31. What do you think people think of you?Honest, quiet, funny, maybe just a little bit wise.
32. Do you think this year will be better than the last?I really, really hope so.
33. Who is the 1st person on your incoming call list and how do you know them?Whaa?
34. Do you know who Salad Fingers Is?Nope.
35. What is the stupidest thing you have ever done?Booked myself up too much and didn’t want to choose just one so I cancelled them all.
36. What is your favorite commercial of the moment?"Hands In My Pocket" some bank commercial I think
37. What does it take to make you cry?Not much
38. What are you looking forward to?Every day
39. Have you ever cried because you thought you were ugly?Yes
40. Who did you kiss today?Luc
41. What do you like to do when you are alone?Read. Internet. Try and Play Neverwinter, Bug the Cats
42. Who are your 2 favorite characters on Full House?Probably Joey and Uncle Jesse.
43. What is missing from your life?Laughter
44. Would you be ashamed if you wore hippie clothes?Nope
45. Grab the closest book, what does the 7th sentence on thethird page say?"…of the Department of Justice" from the 2006 Federal Courts Practice
46. When was the last time you slept with a stuffed animal?When Luc’s Grandad died
47. If it was your last day on earth what shoes would you wear?My duck slippers
48. Do you own a Super Nintendo?Nope
49. What do you think of Law and Order?I don’t
50. Can you name all 7 dwarfs?Sleepy, Happy, Grumpy, Dopey, Sneezy, Bashful, Doc. It's the rhyme.
51. Who is the hottest drummer you know?Donno
52. Have you ever pretended to be Jewish?Nope
53. What was the last thing you thought you lost, but ended up finding it?My hairbrush. It was in one of my many bags
54. What were you doing at midnight last night?Staring at the ceiling waiting for the cats to settle down
55. If you had a ball of clay what would you mold it into?Tupes
56. What does your Milkshake bring to the yard?Whaaa?
57. Do you have any famous relatives?I don’t think so
58. Chicken nuggets or chicken fingers?Fingers. Buffalo style. Mmmmmmmmmm
59. Pirates or Indians:Pirates
60. Pulp OJ or No Pulp OJ?I like to chew my OJ
61. Drive or Ride Passenger:Passenger
62. Regular Hot Dogs or Cheesy Hot Dogs:Cheesy.
63. Beach or Pool:Pool.
64. Renting a movie or Going to the theater:Depends. Renting is much cheaper but you don’t get the air conditioning or the movie popcorn.
65. Ever push all the buttons in an elevator?Totally
66. Ever bake with an easy bake oven?Nope
67. Ever gone to school when you didn’t remember you had the day off?Yes
68. Ever "Jungle Boogied"?I don’t think so
69. Ever owned a Spirograph?I don’t think so
70. Last TV show you watched?Take Home Chef
71. Last food you ate?Oatmeal Breakfast Bar
72. Last thing you bought?Shoes from Walmart
73. Last thing someone bought you?I don’t recall
74. Last thing you laughed at?Horrible…a coworker imitating another person
75. Last person that spent the night at your house?Linds
76. Last thing that gave you chills?Spiders on the ceiling
77. Last song you sang out loud?The Muppet Song
78. Last time you ate ice cream?Last night. Breyers Vanilla with cut up strawberries
79. Who was the last person to text message you?Linds
80. How tall are you barefoot?5'8"ish
81. Have you ever been unfaithful in a relationship?No
82. Do you own a gun?No
83. If you had a mental disorder, what would it be?Chronic Worry masked by an Obsessive Compulsive something or other
84. How many letters are in your crush's name?7 or so
85. What do you think of hot dogs?I don’t
86. What's your favorite Christmas song?Have a Holly Jolly Christmas
87. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?OJ
88. Do you do push-ups?Not if I don’t have to
89. Have you ever done ecstasy?Nope.
90. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?Tons of girlfriends and a few boyfriends too….
91. Do you like the rain?Yes, without the thunder and lightening
92. Do you own a knife?Yes.
93. Do you have A.D.D.?I don’t think so
94. Full initials?MDS
95. Name 4 thoughts at this exact moment.
1) This is very long
2) Manumana Do Do Do Do….repeat over and over and over
3) Can’t remember to forget the bike..wtf.
4) Work right…get to work…in a minute…or two
96. Name the last 4 things you have bought today and how much they cost.So far nothing…Last Night
1) Sandals from Walmart
2) New vitamins from Walmart
3) Ice Cap from Tim Hortons
4) Weightwatchers magazine from Walmart
97. What time did you wake up today?530 with Luc
98. Can you spell?Sometimes
99. Current worry?Do people forget me if I don’t talk to them for a while?
100. Current hate?Worry. Stress.
101. Favorite place to be?With family
102. Least favorite place to be?Right here. Right now.
103. Where would you like to go?New Zealand, to see my Mom, to see my Gran
104. Do you own slippers?Yes, duck slippers
105. Do you burn or tan?Burn.
106. Green or blue?Blue.
107. Last time your cell rang?Yesterday.
108. What songs do you sing in the shower?It depends on what's stuck in my head at the moment.
109. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?Earwhigs
110. What's in your pockets right now?Paperclips, my cell phone
111. Last thing that made you laugh.Watching Luc laugh at the new soccer game he bought as a coworker asks like one of the players on the game
112. Best bed sheets you had as a child?Strawberry Shortcake
113. Worst injury you've ever had?This year, my leg fell asleep and I stood up and rolled over on my ankle…tore most of the ligaments
114. What is your GPA?No Idea
115. How many TVs do you have in your house?2
116. Who is your loudest friend?Wow. Jules
117. Who is your most silent friend?Erin
118. Do you wish on stars?All the time
119. What is your favorite book?Journey of Nattie Gann
120. What song did you last hear?Fleetwood Mac – Chains (something or other)
121. Do you have a bad reputation?I don’t think so
122. What song do you want played at your funeral?No funeral
123. Where will you be in 5 years time?
Hopefully still working with Tom. Perhaps married to Luc. Own my own home.
124. What is your favourite thing to wear?*blush* Nothing..

Seattle Adventure 2006


This was as close to the Space Needle as I got. I wanted to go up but Erin didn't. So...we didn't.






I bought a half pint of chocolate milk. It was so little and cute. I don't see these in Canada so I had to indulge.





Erin's $1.75 (or something) two scoops of chocolate something or other and my $2.50 little cup of dippin' dots. We definately don't have this in Canada. It's freeze dried icecream...banana split flavour. It was awesome.



And o'course the little 6 pack of Tabasco that I picked up because it was too cute. Good for one or two lunches only tho'. 

Seattle Adventure 2006

For those that know me and those that don't I am not a fan of 'Girl from Ipanema' no matter if Blue Eyes sings it or not. MyLuc whistles it if he wants to be annoying. I mentioned that he must have been thinking of me. We saw this sign on the Friday and Saturday the song was playing in the Pike Place Market.


I wish rooms were this cheap. Erin and I went through the Underground tour which is sort of like Storeyum in Vancouver although not a play but an actual tour of the Seattle downtown underground. We found this sign on one of our walkabouts.


This statue was in one of the dog parks. It is actually one of three crouching dogs. I thought it looked cool.






Ride the Duck! I so wanted to do this. It was a tour with a on land boat that went through Seattle and then the inlet. It was a bit pricey but it would have been so much fun. And o'course the funky duck is really cool. 

Seattle Adventure 2006

This is my new wooden windup duck. He has quite the pucker and o'course goes and goes. I have to keep him away from the cats tho' or he'll be picked up and taken to their toy hideaway.




Coke Blak. I haven't seen this in Canada. Coffee flavoured Coke. Tastes like a coffee candy and was oh so yummy. They were handing out samples and I picked up quite a few. Only one made it back to Canada to MyLuc. He didn't enjoy it as much as I did.






My Myokki! Just like a Chia Pet but smaller. I can't wait until my office moves and I can try and grow my little Chick some hair. I have to admit I thought it was a duck until on the Amtrak ride home Erin and I read on quite a few places on the packaging that it was a Chick.





Buddy Christ! I picked this up for MyLuc. He's a huge Kevin Smith fan and o'course thanks to Dogma I was able to find this for MyLuc. 

Thursday Funny

Never Argue with a Woman

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decidesto take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides totakethe boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading." "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true,but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at anymoment."

"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

It's Hump Day!

It's been too long and I've forgotten some of my really, really great blogging ideas, thoughts, rants, etc...so here's what you get:

• At the Dentists: Dr. Guy (cuz I can't remember his name) and I discuss him not telling me how I MUST floss at least twice a day and possibly after eating anything that will stick in my teeth. He does the thing that those who aren't Dentists do before the Dentist comes in (I can't recall what they are called at this moment). The Dentist comes in and does her thing and says I'll need a new nightguard because I'm an aggressive grinder. As she leaves Dr. Guy speaks up and says "and I'll remind her to do the effin thing at least twice a day before she leaves". The Dentist turns around, Dr. Guy goes red and says "Floss...I meant Floss". Typing this and reading this you get the idea but the real time was much funnier.

• Talkin' with my Mom about when we should get her plane ticket she informs me that Sprout and Robin might be coming up and she can stay at the condo while she's here...for my birthday! WTF!!! She is coming down for me, to spend my birthday with me, and stay at my house and meet MyLuc's 'rents. Not to come down and go shopping with Sprout and Robin as they play tourguide. The plan for her to come down for my 30th has been 3 years of me telling her every second Tuesday that she's coming down for my 30th. *sigh* Little bro better not wreck this birthday.

• Doing dishes as MyLuc was watching one of the Stanley Cup playoff games, I walked into the room kinda disgruntled to say "Why don't they ever play the Canadian Anthem first?"... and it was. More ammunition for MyLuc and those that know him know that he uses all the ammunition he has on me all the freakin' time.

• Attending the Celtic wedding of my friends this weekend as a Bridesmaid (and the dress fit with inches to spare Woohoo!) only to find out that they had been married by a Justice of the Peace a month previously. Now that was just totally dishonest. They told the wedding party the night before the Celtic wedding.

• After the wedding drinking Joe Stiff's (Adult Rootbeer), climbing into the tent about 3, talking til 4, closing the tent opening about 430 which freaked the 3 of us out (all girls), listening to the storm rage and the wind blow, my listening to them fall asleep, about 5 remembering that we were next to a cemetary, about 6 listening to the birds wake up, about 630 listening to the campers get up, about 7 calling MyLuc's 'rents (that's where he was) and Virginia saying we were wondering when you were going to call, 830 MyLuc and I loading the car to go home, 10 arriving home, having a shower and trying to stay awake, 12 going to bed until 4, and I think I stayed up til 9 but I can't remember.

• Picking up the Amtrak tickets and confirming the reservation at the Hotel for StrongArm and my adventure in Seattle this coming Thursday to Sunday and wondering what the heck we're going to do there. This will be the first trip we have taken together that doesn't involve going home to Trail. I will write down my adventures and hopefully will have some funnies for those who read this.

Okay, *HUGE HUGS* More to come later...if'n I can think of it and even if'n I can't.

The evolution of dance

MyLuc showed me this tonight. I almost peed my pants.

You Are 25% Bitchy

You're a pretty sweet person, and you're definitely not prone to bitchy outbursts. Sometimes, though, you can't help thinking mean thoughts about people. But at least you don't act on them!

How Bitchy Are You?