Sooo....

It's been a really really long two weeks. So much has happened, so many emotions surfaced...

Let me begin with Thursday, September 29, 2005. I received the dreaded 1030 telephone call from my Mom that one of my brothers had been in a car accident. She'd telephone me later when she had more information. That wasn't going to happen, me wait....so I called her right back we talked for a bit and then I had to wait, and wait and wait. 11:45 approx she called back. My little bro Stretch had crashed his car into a mountain near Moyie at 830 that morning. He was rushed to Cranbrook and then airlifted to Calgary at 3 and was identified at 9 that night. Identified?!? Wtf? He had no ID at all on him. They finally tracked our dad down through his cell phone, first calling his boss in Creston and giving identifying markings (thank god Stretch (my bro) likes Tattoos.) Then his boss called our dad, his wife called our other brother (Sprout) and so on. I was so upset and worried because the only information mom could give me was that he had internal bleeding from his seatbelt, brokern ribs, swelling on his spine, shattering of his left orbital bone, cheekbone and fracture to his upper jaw. That was quite enough tho'...I couldn't sleep, I cried and prayed and cried some more. MyLuc sat up with me and held me. I think I finally went to bed about 4.

I got up in the morning, went to work and waited and waited for more information. Nothing. No calls to the workline or the cell. I went home and waited and waited. Finally I spoke with Sprout. He told me that Stretch had had alcohol and drug tests. There was neither in his system. Thank goodness STretch isn't a drinker...he does smoke marijuana but I guess not enough to show?? They still weren't sure about his spine. He had seen a facial surgeon and was going to have plates placed in his orbital bone and cheek bone. They weren't sure about his sight.

Saturday I was functioning but still worried. I had one week to get everything ready for my bests wedding, still had to make an outfit and get the fabric for the outfit, had to be calm n' strong and not worry too much. I broke out in tears often and MyLuc was trying so hard to be there for me but he was making me angry more than helping me. I understand are powerful words. Use them sparingly. He was understanding that I was hurting, understanding that I was worried about my brother, understanding that I needed to cry, understanding that I was upset, understanding...about every freakin' thing. I wanted to scream. But I didn't. I just accepted that he wanted to help and was doing the best he could.

My girly girl and I went fabric shopping. I bought an underlining satiny material and an over matrial for my skirt. Bought a pattern. Went home and broke out the sewing machine. Started to building the underlining. Put in the zipper and tried it on. It was ghastly. No one my size should wear ruffles and ruffles it had. I showed MyLuc and he said "Aren't bridesmaids dresses supposed to be ugly?" I started to get upset. I'm the Maid of Honour not the Bridesmaid...I should look good. So I decided to use the overmaterial and make a wrap shirt using my valentines/xmas shirt for a pattern. After all...4 pieces with a long piece to wrap around ... what could go wrong. But I wasn't going to do that today. I'd had enough of sewing.

Monday went okay. I hadn't heard anything so I figured that was good. Monday night about 930 Stretch called me. He was all dopey n' drugged n' having problems speaking clearly but he sounded weird. Now, imagine the strongest man you know, one who doesn't cry, who has been through hades and come through with a clear mind/conscience and who doesn't cry....crying as hard as he can because "he sees a stranger in the mirror". I was devastated. I tried to be positive telling him that the outside could change all it wanted it was the inner person that would never change. He said he didn't know what had happened other than he tried to take on a mountain and lost. He had had some vertabrae (sp?) fused in his back because they had been crushed by the seat back when his face was meeting the steering wheel. This went on for about 1/2 hour and I was so upset. So then I called my Mom because I needed some cheering up and she tried her best to calm me down but it didn't help at all because all I could hear was my stepdad whining and complaining that her kids were so needy and couldn't they call at a decent hour. Grrrr! I totally dislike that man.

After hanging up I went and grabbed my Sara. A doll I've had since I was 5 that contains all my secrets, fears and o'course tears. She only comes out when I'm in dire need of someone who understands everything. I didn't stop crying for so long it seemed. I recall asking MyLuc if you could cry a bodies worth of tears. He said probably but it'd take a long while.

Tuesday I had the morning off because I needed to go to the Dr. for my depoprevara shot. At about 7 am Stretch called again wanting reassurance that he'd be okay. He was being released to our Dad and didn't know when next we'd talk because he knew I wouldn't call Dads...and he was totally not to call me from there. But that's a whole other story. He was calmer but still very depressed not knowing what he was going to do, how he was going to pay for everything, wanting to know that I would still love him and not be angry with him with any choices that he was going to make....he wouldn't clarify on the last point but I told him that I would be there for him no matter what.

After the appointment with the doctor I was totally drained mentally and emotionally. I called work and said I wouldn't be in. They were understanding which totally rocked. My girly girl emailed MyLuc and said that I needed her. She came over bringing three black dresses that I could choose from and then accent it with the wrap I was going to make. She was so awesome. Understanding that I needed to be alone yet didn't want to be.

Wednesday I seemed to cry all day long. I'd be fine and then I'd be crying. It totally sucked. I went into closed door meetings with both my lawyers and said I was taking Thursday as well as Friday off...I didn't think that I would be much use at work. They understood and said that if I needed more time than that they'd understand. MyLuc's friend Shawna ("Naughty") was going to meet with me after work to get some lingerie for her upcoming wedding. We had planned this day for a month so I wasn't going to cancel, plus I wanted something else to think about. I met Naughty at the Skytrain and we bussed it to the Mall only to find that the lingerie store had closed on Tuesday. Tuesday!!! That totally sucked. We ended up going to Applebees where MyLuc joined us for dinner...n' drinks. One drink and I was a very happy girl.

Thursday I packed my bag for the wedding. I watched six episodes of Season 6 of Buffy n' did laundry n' cleaned the apartment. MyLuc and I have an agreement. If I clean before I leave then he'll make sure it will be clean when I come home.

I left to go to the bus about 4 and it was pouring. So I took a cab to the skytrain. I went to the greyhound about 445. And then I waited n' waited. I lined up about 545 and the line seemed to go on and on. They called in another bus because there were so many of us. I sat with nooone until Chilliwack and then a very large older lady got on. Now I'm a big girl but she was crowding me into the wall of the bus. And she shifted alot n' sighed n' shifted. It was very annoying. By the time I had gotten to Castlegar Friday morning I wanted to walk to Trail. I was tired of being smushed.

Friday 500 a.m. the bus got into Trail. TNick picked me up and we drove home. This was the first time I'd been to their house since they had purchased it in September. It's just the right size I think. Chadney's family (Mom L, Dad L, the Grandma and Trev) had all arrived on Thursday and were in bed so we had the morning to ourselves. We talked n' caught up n' talked n' then I decided I should really finish the wrap shirt. I had only one panel left to cut and attach before trying it on and getting the neckline just right. We placed it on the floor and wouldn't you know it. I had TNick help me hold the fabric while I cut because I had run out of pins and then when she let go so I could see if it was straight - I had cut the shoulder off. *sigh* No luck atall.

About 10 TNick and I drove to the Mall. We went into Zellers and I tried on shirt after shirt after shirt. I had the piece of fabric with me so we matched colours very well but I was so disappointed when the only shirt that actually looked decent was a plain cotton tshirt. As we were leaving heading to the restaurant for breakfast I looked into Mariposa and there it was ... a wrap shirt just my size in the exact shade of the fabric I held in my hand. I walked away tho'...I had just bought a shirt I didn't need another.

During breakfast TNick told me how frustrated she was with people (Mom L) and that she was excited n' nervous all at once. We went over plans for the day n' the Saturday....just so that I woudl have some idea. There weren't many plans but there were enough.

Now I can't go into much detail here because there was so much going on. It'll have to wait for another day.

Friday - the Inlaws - I spent quite a while trying to help keep everyone was tearing eack others face off (TNick/Mom L) and trying to keep the stress level low. I did fairly well and kicked butt at cards doing so.

Saturday - the Wedding - Played remember when with TNick....it wasn't rainy n' my outfit of black dress n' plum wrap shirt matched the grooms outfit very nicely while the brides outfit went very well with the best mans. We all looked good. Pictures will come very soon. Drank the best man under the table *grin*, and o'course a happy drunk and will talk n' talk n' talk for quite a while. "Little Blue Dune Buggy" - TLick (as she will now be known) and I danced to this and were videotaped *blush*

Sunday - the Aftermath - not hungover but tired. Not much sleep when you are cold n' can't get warm. Was s'posed to visit with my Gran but didn't. Bad Granddaughter I am. Was supposed to visit with my Auntie but didn't...bad niece. Cleaned up. Said goodbye to the Inlaws. Had a nap. Went to TLick's family for dinner of leftovers. Watched Sahara with Chadney as TLick and Tuck crashed early.

Monday - was supposed to visit my Gran but didn't. Didn't try calling her more than once...bad bad Granddaughter. Did laundry. Packed up all my stuff. Went to late lunch with Chadney, TLick n' Tuck. And back on the bus.

Sat with noone until Kelowna which was awesome. Then sat with a friendly girl who was a talker as much as I and we chatted n' looked at pics on my digital camera. Arrived in Coquitlam.

4:00 a.m. Tuesday. Cab ride from Coquitlam to my home was $15. Not too bad. Gotta keep that in mind. Walked in and MyLuc was talking away. He normally wakes up on and off from 4 til his alarm at 530 because of the cats wanting cuddling. I went to have a shower n' wash off the bus stink and climbed into bed and he was still talking. Talk talk talk. I finally told him that I really really wanted to get some sleep before going to work at 645. He did. 730. Left home for work. Yup, I slept in. I even had had MyLuc turn the oven timer on and his alarm so I'd have three alarms. He did this and I still slept in. Work was okay other than everyone wanting to know how I was, how Stretch was, how the wedding was, the weather....... Went home and put in Buffy. MyLuc didn't get home til 9. I totally missed him. Didn't hear from anyone regarding Stretch so I presumed all was okay.

Wednesday - Work was a blur. It was a steady stream with no end and the time flew. By the time I got home I was so sleepy. I went and picked up veggies, n' fruit n' eggs from our Market and caught a cab home. I had set aside $20 a month for cab fare and I've totally almost used it all. *sigh* MyLuc got home at 6, taco salad, called my mom for info about Stretch. She said he's okay. His face is okay. The has some scarring on his eybrow n' cheek from the insertion of the plates, his bruising is all yellowed n' green and he's walking very slowly. She didn't know about the fusing of the vertabrae because Stretch had said he had pins implanted. She's going to talk with the doctor and get the real news. I was so totally relieved.

And that brings us to today. So far so good. Work is good. I was called in for a closed door meeting with the Coutts (1st on the letterhead) and he let me know I was getting a raise of $150. Woohoo! That rocks. Tonight MyLuc and I are having date night...dinner and a movie "The History of Violence" (I think that's the name).

If'n you've made it this far *HUGE HUGS* n' thanks for reading.