Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2006

Number 10= Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9= Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8= Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7= Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6= Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5= Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4= All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3= Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you 30¢?

Number 2=In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006= We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.