Quote of the Day: I’ve always worried a lot and frankly I’m good at it. E. Bombeck

Me too. It's something I do and something that will prolly never stop.

MyLuc and I have decided not to have children. We talked and talked about pros and cons and the future and decided that this is for the best.

I decided when I was 16 that I didn't want to be a mom. For a variety of reasons, I didn't want to treat my kids like I had been treated, there were too many children in the world already that needed love, I'd rather be an aunt....and the list continues.

I had decided that if ever I had a partner and he wanted kids I wouldn't dissuade him but I woudl think long and hard if I could compromise on my decision.

I thank the lord and the stars and whatever else I deem needs to be thanked that I have myLuc. He's not a kid guy and understands my reasoning. I didn't have to make a choice.

We've talked about getting surgery (for either of us) and the pros and cons and o'course how we wouldn't have to pay for birth control pills or condoms.

I had an appointment with a Gynocologist the other day to discuss my options and alternative methods and such. It went very well and I decided on Depo-Provera. It is a shot that lasts for three months and then you get another and so on and so forth. We talked about the pros and cons and everything else that I could think of to ask. What about weight gain? What about the variety of side effects that introducing a "poison" into your system has? How effective.

I chose this method for the simple reason that I don't want to have day surgery to have either a cauterization done or a metal band placed over my ovaries. That is the next step if I don't think this is working or is right for me but for now I'll try it out.

I don't want to worry about missing a pill or after getting all hot and heavy and forgetting the condom (which doesn't happen often) worrying about the consequences. MyLuc talked about the "what if" and about answers and we'd deal if it happened but we prayed that it didn't.

I have enough worry in my life and now I feel that a little of the load I carry is off. I mean, I know that 1 of 3 out of 1000 get pregnant with the shot. I actually met one of them at the office. I pray I'm not #2 or #3 but hey, if I am so be it. I'll deal. We'll deal.

I telephoned a good friend of mine, one of my bests and she started to freak out. I guess this is a high hazard for causing osteoporosis and so on and so forth. I explained to her that I had spoken with the doctor and he had explained the pros and cons and yes, this was one of them. She didn't understand why I chose this method. I got a little upset. I mean, it is my and myLuc's choice and I don't want to be on any birth control pill any longer and jeesh, she's a 28 year old virgin.

I totally don't hold that against her, it's her choice but with all choices comes consequences and if in a few years I develop osteoporosis and become ill I will stop using the shot but until that time, this is my choice.

*Phew* Now did I tell her that. Nope. Kept it to myself cuz I didn't want to anger her. That's me.

*HUGE HUGS*

Thanks for reading my rant.