Monday morning .. oh vey. I type that but in all honesty it was a great morning.
My friend Steph (from high school who has been in Sydney housesitting while her parents are in New Zealand and who lives in Edmonton, who set me up with Nicole for Recreational Outrigger Paddling *phew*) came for dinner Sunday night. I made lasagna, she brought salad, we drank a bottle of wine, had some oreos with the blueberry squeak (blueberries, sugar and vodka that had been soaking since June 2013) and gabbed, gossiped, cried, laughed, talked...all the above. It was fantastic!
Steph spent the night and when I awoke, I made us some coffee and we chatted. No rush this morning because she was going to drive me in to work.
Arrive, two people out ill and that leaves two out of three left...one more was having her flex day. I cannot wait until my flex day begins once I am a permanent employee in this Government office.
Long day, very long...and so I begin texting randomly..his and hellos, check out fb, emails, etc. AND THEN the capper...the aggression switch
To begin with...in January I begin planning my year. There are certain volunteer events that I do and participate in and visiting that needs to be planned. Most of my people understand that..BUT there is always that one person in our lives that can upset us quicker than quick, quicker than a greyhound at the races after that freakin' fluffy bunny, a drunk on a bender to get that last drop that eludes them at the bottom of the glass, that frantic pushing of the button to make sure your hungry, hungry hippo gets the last marble.
Backstory, in December my bestfriend's father passed away. We knew it was coming but the when was uncertain. I could not attend the funeral because I worked two jobs and getting to the location was not something I was able to do. She understood this and we communicated all the days through it. After the funeral a memorial date was set and I worked around my calendar and no problem, we were going to have a few days camping and having fun and both of us were super excited that I could a) do the volunteer gig, b) have one on one time and c) attend her dad's memorial.
The text said, plans have changed ...going to the memorial the day before and then heading up to whereever to attend his nephews graduation. My response, no worries, I won't pland for the week and unfortunately won't be able to come and attend your dad's memorial. Her response. Sorry. My response, ah well..we will just have to figure out another time to see each other. Can't fret about it.
Mature and no blame...in text. In my head a huge blazing ball of fury. WTF? What about me? Did she even think about me? She's in a relationship and I need to step back..again...way freakin' back. BREATHE MELISSA...freakin' BREATHE.
Needless to say, when I put my gloves on and began my circuit my head was so busy but on the ball that the Instructor bare came up to correct my stance or hitting and the 30 minutes flew by. Too fast. I wanted to go again...and again. Until I was too tired to think. Got home and checked marked my calendar for the exercise day was accomplished. YAY! Good job.
Sat down and thought about me and my feelings and what I need to do to get out of this negative headspace. I have learned over these last few years that I am worth it. I am worth the time that people wish to share with me. I can no longer be in a position to be upset when things don't work out...that is life.
And sometimes life sucks and then you throw the lollipop stick away and GET OVER IT! Tomorrow is another day.
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