It's Tuesday, still raining like ... umm... Noah's on his way for a visit and he needs the water to float his boat...Yup...that's kinda funny actually. Myluc's SCA name is Noah Vale (yup...he's weird) and his car is Zark for Noah's Ark...I know I know...groan!

I haven't heard from my friend Strongarm in a while and I really hoped that nothing happened to her boys. Her pets. Her. Her work. Her family. I finally talked with her this morning and it turns out that I haven't been totally paranoid about not hearing from her since Myluc and I sat for her hamster and guinea pig. She's going through a rough time right now and luckily I can shut up and listen as well as talk. I think that the advice I gave her was good stuff. After all..what I say is what I've learned over the last few years, what I believe and o'course what other people have told me. Sometimes what you hear can apply to different situations.

So...I talked with my friend Strongarm about my trip and about me and Myluc and me me. Strongarm understands what I speak about when I talk about my trip. She understands how important it is to me as she is going to be coming with. Goodness.

I've know Strongarm going on 12 years. Yup...a long time. Our 10 year reunion is this year. If we go..it'll be together..Myluc will probably stay home and we'll do a Romy and Michelle kinda thing. After all...when I moved to the lower mainland in '97 her mom was kind enough to store my stuff in her basement. I haven't been back since. So...when the reunion or even time for us to rent a car and road trip it....I'll go through all my stuff. I know that most of it will probably not be coming home with me but I still need to go through it. It's the stuff that has been around from 0-17. 17 and on...well..that's what I have with me now.

I'm hoping that Charlie Bear - one of those huge panda things from the fair that I've had since '77 isn't too moth eaten and icky. After I moved out of my home when I was 15 he stayed with my Mom and then my Gran and then Strongarm's mom...in the basement, under the trailer wrapped in plastic, in the guest room. He's a well travelled thing and the joke was he'd need his own seat on the greyhound to come visit me.

I'm also hoping that I don't run into any of my old diaries. They'd be full of pain and anger. Stuff that I don't really want to relive. Myluc recently watched The Butterfly Effect. Scary stuff. If it were true though....goodness. I already thank the lord and those who helped me choose the paths that I have taken. But I do wonder about those other paths...where would I be.

And o'course there will be books. Tons and a whack! All my Nancy Drews and Romances from waaay back.

I'm really looking forward though to rediscovering treasures. Don't remember what's in the box or boxes and it'll be an adventure.

Adventures are really good stuff.

Kinda rambled on .... probably will more.

*HUGE HUGS*

See....here's the thing.

Since I was a young'n I've wanted only three things to be accomplished. Dreams if you will. Things that I want to do and get done before I'm thirty.

1. Go to New Zealand for three weeks to a month;
2. Go to Graceland.
3. Visit Michael Landon's grave.

Now I know that many will ask why but these three have stood with me for many a year.

I accomplished #2 when I was 25. For the 25th anniversary of Elvis' death. I joined a huge whack of grannies and true fans to celebrate his life and death. It was awesome. A memory that will remain with me for a long time.

#3. I know that this is truly a dream and a wish but that's why it is #3. I just want to stand by the graveside of the man who I wanted for a dad. Someone who was the "Dad" that I pretended was mine while I was being beaten down by the one who shares my name.

#1. New Zealand. This has been something that I have actually worked on. I've been corresponding with people and travel agencies and in high school this was the project that brought about my one and only A in Hospitality/Tourism because of the in depth research.

And now the story.

I don't know about #3. But it's going to happen.

Myluc and I talked a bit a couple of weeks ago about plans for our future. We've decided in 22 months we're going to get out of the one bedroom shithole we're in and buy a place. If I don't have the money or as much money as I need to go to New Zealand we're going to New Orleans. It's still an awesome trip but it isn't the right one. Myluc tried to say that we have our lives to go on a trip. Yes. We do. But I want to go to New Zealand. He doesn't have wishes or dreams or places he wants to visit before a certain time. He hasn't put limits on anything. I have. I can do things and travel places after I'm thirty but I don't want to. It's selfish but it's what I want and have planned for.

Myluc's sister and bf are engaged. I am truly happy for them as is Myluc. They have decided that they are going to get married in Cuba with only immediate family in attendance. This includes gf's and bf's as well. Yay. Awesome. They've settled on sometime in 2007.

And here I start to cry and my heart aches. You see they've chosen 2007. I will be 30 that year. I want to go to New Zealand. I don't want to postpone my trip for Myluc's sister. I want to be selfish and think of only me.

Myluc tried to and tries to figure me out and doesn't want to know why I won't compromise and make Cuba my trip. He doesn't understand that Cuba wouldn't be mine...it's his sis' and her mans. It isn't something or somewhere where I wanted to go. Ever.

*GACK!*

I went to bed last night with a heavy heart. Myluc talking and trying to figure out what I can do. We've agreed that it's a few years away and things change. I won't get a second job so that I can have both trips. I won't freak out. I will be the one to tell his 'rents and sis if they ask. I will be happy for them. Duh. All but the last two are things that are most likely not going to happen. I am happy for his family. How could I not be. These two have decided that they are going to get married and share their life together. That's awesome.

Myluc and I get into discussions about marriage. I want Elvis and Vegas. He wants his mom's garden and no Elvis. We're working on compromise. I want him to give his name and share it with me. I don't want to pay the cash to change it. If that was to happen I'd become like Elvis and Cher. No last name needed.

That's the weekend in two blogposts. We'll see what the week holds.

*HUGE HUGS*

Itsa Monday day today. It's raining outside and it's gloomy and it totally matches my mood.

My weekend started awesomely. I went to a bransle (brawl) (Medieaval Dance and Play) with my friend Jules and was totally looking forward to seeing my old bandmates from Folk Heroes who are now Toot-A-Lute. I was lucky enough to be missed, as I heard constantly and I danced some dances (Dargasons and Monavue *prob spelled all wrong*). But it was different. I don't know what it was. I wasn't as comfortable as I thought I'd be. I guess that's what happens after months of being away from the SCA and all it entailed.

I got to see my ex-beau "O". I can't really call him my bf cuz we were really together for the lovin'. He was the one guy who loved hangin' with me cuz I never wanted anything from him. We could sit in silence and just be. It was awesome. One of my favourite memories is of us lying on the couch, his head on my bosum....sleepin' like a wee babe and me reading a book. For hours we'd do this..rouse ourselves for the loo or to munch or to go for a walk. But more often than not we'd cuddle and he'd gain the sleep he lost flutterin' around pleasin' everyone, lookin' for something. Our relationship ended after I watched him fall...I can't say in love cuz I don't think it was .. but I watched him waltz with this woman (who for the life of me I can't remember her name just the nic that Jules and I gave her...oh the crazy spanish chick...). They waltzed and I watched him place his hand on her face, gaze into her eyes and fall. I knew then that that was our end. It wasn't that horrid though because I knew that our lovin' was fleeting...he was looking for his soulmate and I wasn't her nor did I intend to be.

Anyways, I did the hug rounds ... cuz I like to ... and then I watched O's current love...crying so hard over losing O. She lasted longer than 3 months but only because she asked him not to leave her at Christmas. He obliged and then "poof" done. I gathered the various tidbits of O's life over the current months and he's been fluttering around and now he's found someone else ...go figure... *shrug* Until he finds the one...he's going to be a fluttering player. I just wish him happiness and love. And o'course I'll send good vibes his way.

**To be continued**

It's already the 11th of January ... can you believe it?

It's been quite hectic since my last post.

My little brother Sprout basically disowned me for having a grudge against him and not being responsible and being immature and blah blah blah. *shurg* these are his views and he's free to have them but obviously he forgets the past. I mean ... my parents were both alcoholics and my father quite frequently beat the three of us. He'd go from me to Stretch and then to Sprout but by this time my mom would rouse herself from her drunken stupor and block Sprout. He was always the baby. I was always closer to him than Stretch. It was the kind of childhood that you don't want anyone to have and no freakin' way would I repeat. I am the person now who credits my past for creating the person I am today but c'mon....why would I hold a grudge against him? He is gay, good for him, he has a partner, good for him, me too, he has a job, me too, he has his own apartment, me too. Goodness. I can see where I would have a grudge. Whatever!

My friend Groupanoid went to Israel to see her man. She left on the 30th and will be back on the 15th. I cannot wait until she comes back. I think I have been one of the lucky few to have heard from her since she's been gone but having her in the same Province will be tremendous.

Myluc and I stayed here for Christmas. We ventured from one g'rents to the next (he's lucky enough to have all four). It was quite awesome minus a little session where I wanted to go home before dinner because I didn't want to deal with him. It passed, dinner was good. The comment we received the most was "it's your second christmas, where's the ring?".

If I had to pick my favourite gift though it would be the silver earrings from Myluc (some kinda ring =0), the duck slippers from his aunt and cuz and the food processor from my mom, she actually listened when she asked what I wanted.

Groupanoid also quit here at the lawfirm where we work. We have someone new, her nic will be ....hmmm....forthcoming...we've only worked together for a week so I have to give it some thought.

I'm also doing the final year end accounting for Eisenmarche (my medieaval society). Hopefully I did it correctly and noone will think I do a crappy job. I told them when they asked me that I don't even balance my cheque book. Too funny. The faith people have in people.

Anyways, that's the gist of it.

It was a great week. And I survived it with only a few tears.

I can't remember what day what happened so I'm just gonna write it all down.

Groupanoid, Strongarm, my Seneschal (from Eisenmarche) and I went for our first annual Deluxe Pedicure and Paraffin. It was awesome! The only sucky parts were Seneschal getting cut and having a really strong antiseptic put on the cut and that we were separated. Seneschal and I were able to share a room with a divider and we talked them into opening the divider. It was quite an experience and one we totally want to repeat in February (we figure every coupla months'll do). I have to say that myluc loved how soft my feet were and boy oh boy...shoulda done it sooner. I don't have a foot fetish but I loved how he'd stroke my feet while we were watching tv. Ahhh.

Also this was the beginning of my birthday week. I turned 28 on the 24th and didn't really want to plan anything on my actual day cuz of memories from last year. I just kept repeating. Please don't let anyone die on my bday this year please please please.

Groupanoid is terrific. She gave me gift certs for shopping at the mall...and Strongarm presented me with 4 of the 5 Harry Potter books were out. The 5th she couldnt' seem to find in the adult style but that's okay. Way above and beyond the call of friendship and I totally thank her. She listened to what I wanted..which was o'course awesome. I wanted for xmas and my bday the whole books series and well the third movie. It didn't come out til the 24th but I was hoping someone would buy it. And they did.

My little bro Sprout and his partner Wee wee (hee hee) and friends were making their way from Calgary to come to Vancouver. Not to see his big sis but Avril. I know I know. Could he be more gay. Ummm...yup. =0) They are staying with my other brother Stretch due to the fact that they are all smokers and myluc and I are allergic. GACK! Oh well, *shrug* what can you do?

Didn't do too much on Tuesday, bought a chicken dinner from Safeway cuz I really didn't want to cook and set my alarm for 1201. Talked with my mom and opened her gift. It was a battery operated head massager. Kinda a travel pillow which vibrates too much and well...I used it to scare the cats...the vibration was really really loud. She tries her damndest but I really really would have been cool with just the card. Although, I have to admit that it was way better than the kiddie pink and purple hair stuff she sent one year. I was turning 25 I think...not 10. She tries and I love her for it. But you know. I wanted Luc to be the first to wish me a happy birthday on my day.

My alarm went off at 1201 and all I heard from myluc was "wtf!" got kinda a hug outta it. When his alarm went off at 530 ... lets just say...went to work with a big smile. It was my day and nothing was going to ruin it.

It is a policy of my lawfirm that all the support spend $20 to get a gift. I was totally looking forward to it. The lawyers purchase a bouquet. Other than the pink gerbera like flowers it's an awesome bouquet and o'course the card signed by everyone from the firm was good. They may be lawyers but they like to crack jokes...at the expense of each other even. It was pretty funny. One of the lawyers, I'll call her Cranky (more often than not) asked if I felt any older and I wanted to have a smart retort but nope....didn't think of one until after "Why do I smell like mothballs or Vicks?" I never get to give as good as I received.

I received two gift certs for Coles/Chapters bookstore which is awesome because I looooooooove books and just spent $40 the other day on myself. I also received a really cool birchbark box with a candle. The only thing missing was that fakey pine scent. But I can rectify that. I also received a really nice huge angel mug for the month of November. That just means I have to return the one I borrowed. Those big cups are awesome for cold days. Or whenever.=0)

My little brother was going to meet me for lunch and I was totally psyched. Lunch came and went...no Sprout. Good thing that I have friends to have lunch with who wanted my day to be a good one.

400 came and went and then the phone rang. It was Sprout. He said he'd pick me up after work and drive me home and then go to the concert. It wouldn't give us much time to visit but it was better than nothing. I was so excited. I told everyone that my little bro was coming to pick me up. 430 came and went and nada. Just as I was leaving for the skytrain my cell rang and he said they'd be there in 45 min cuz I didn't get off until 530. WRONG! There was no misunderstanding on my part as I had Groupanoid confirm that I told Sprout 430. Needless to say we didn't get to hookup and I was a little upset.

And then I get home to a voicemail from Stretch saying "Happy Birthday! Do you know where Wee Wee is?". Umm yeah...with the group going to Avril...duh. They're staying with you and you don't know that? We had quite a conversation and I ended up hanging up because I didn't want to hear about how Wee Wee was supposed to go with Stretch while Stretch had new tatty's done and that they hadn't really hung out and blah blah blah. It's my day. Darn tootin' I get to be selfish if only for one day. Grrr. He made me so mad.

Myluc's 'rents didn't make it out from Mission cuz of flooding. But it was better for them to be flooded there than away from their 2 dogs and 4 cats who need meds. So it was all good. I had received a bday email from his mom and at least she remembered.

I got home from work and did the hug n' nose rubs (3x) and kisses (3x) myluc and I are weird. I asked him where my gifts were and all he said was "don't turn on the microwave, don't turn on the oven." So what'd I do, run over and look...nada...in either. He laughed and said you are too easily trusting. Yeah! That's me. He presented me with the 5th Harry Potter book and the 3rd movie. Myluc and I went for all you can eat japanese at a place he said he'd never go again. That is definately the last last time. I wanted to give them one more chance. We did. Not again. Got home and settled in to watch Harry Potter 3. It was just as kinda creepy as I remembered from seeing it with Strongarm.

Overall I had a very awesome 28th bday week. Totally made up for last year and o'course I'll do the same next year and begin reminding everyone in October. It's not so much the gifts or the cards. It's people saying "Happy Birthday". It gives me warm fuzzies.

Last night after work Sprout, Wee Wee and friends (not naming them cuz they just don't count in my world) picked me up and dropped me off at the mall. It was a short trip but I got to see my little bro and meet Wee Wee. Now I have a voice to match to the person. Sproutnik gave me a reallly cool ring and a turtle whose shell comes off to reveal a grasshopper (part of the turtle), and a new xbox game. (Myluc and I picked up an xbox and a game apiece and then he decided every cheque to get a game.) Needless to say my counts only at 2 now...*shrug* what can you do?

Strongarm and I met up had a quick bite to eat at the food court and then went to watch "National Treasure". It was a hokey indiana jones kind of movie but I loved the puzzles that the characters had to solve. It was a 7 out of 10. We laughed where we weren't s'posed too but it was too cheesy not to.

And that brings us to today. Workin' busy, chattin' tons and no plans for the evening. Hope to hook up with my bros but we'll see.

Fill you in again ... soon...hopefully.

*HUGE HUGS*

The once a week is going to turn into a when I can posting.

Myluc and I attended my adopted bros (he calls me cuz) medieval wedding on sat. It rained and rained and rained and I was so glad to finally get to the log cabin they had reserved for the wedding. Yes, it was in the backwoods of Maple Ridge but it was quite nice. The couple merged wiccan/pagan with modern(?). It was quite beautiful especially when they each read their vows to each other. The highlight of the wedding for me was to see my family from Nova Scotia and Cranbrook and talk with a bro from Korea who unfortunately couldn't attend. All was awesome.

Sunday myluc and I just hung out. We didn't do anything. We watched movies and ran out once for some groceries. It was my night to cook so I had to pick up some meat. We ended up with some pork chops and potatoes and corn. And alas, the pork was dry. Myluc blamed the cut of meat but it was me. I always mess up one or more meal during the week.

It's Tuesday and I have only one more day to go. Lucky girl I am I was able to take Friday off and myluc and I are doing something *fingers crossed*.

There is a Bransle ("brawl") Friday night that I'd like to attend to do some dancing and visiting and then on Saturday, Folk Heroes, the folk group I played the bodhran with are performing. I also need to get some accounting done and some cleanup of my filing. Cleaning, clean up...what fun.

Hope that all is well and will continue to be so.

This seems to be turning into a once a week post. So here goes.

Friday

Took Nut to the vet. It was a new doctor who spoke very fast with bad english. Nevertheless...Nut is on 2 months meds and then back for a checkup and a $300.00 teeth cleaning. Fun stuff. We took Trigger home and then went out to get some movies. We're addicted to the old section of VHS and cheap not New Release DVDs. Cheese mostly but it was all good. I really enjoyed Gothika and Romancing the Stone and the second Jewel of the Nile. We didn't get to watch Waterworld but that's okay. No loss really. Ruffled while watching the movies. It was all good.

Saturday

Woke up to continuing the ruffles and watching whatever myluc had downloaded to DVD. We're addicted to the Lost and o'course Charmed. Haven't missed a season yet. Groupanoid came by to pick up the ruffles. I was almost finished. Missed part of the end of the black but no worries she said. Heading out about nooon to myluc's 'rents. We had a late dinner of enchiladas with a new recipe that his mom hated and tried to recreated into something better with low fat sour cream and tons of veggies. His dad wasn't too thrilled at all. We headed out about 830 all in our medieval clothing. I can't really call it costumes cuz myluc and I wear it often. I must say though that we received a whack of compliments and o'course his 'rents loved the clothes. They just kept repeating that it was so comfy and why did the style have to change to such uncomfy present day clothing. The hostess was dressed as a hooker with plastic boobs busting out of her top. We stood together and were the "boobie girls" because I happened to mention that mine were real while hers were fake. I of course was wearing a bodice and having the "boobies" to fill them out put her plastic ones to shame. We left about 930 and sta and watched Meet Joe Black. It was quite a good movie. We didn't watch it all and they went to bed at 11. Not having cable I stayed up and watched the Food and Home Networks.

Sunday

It is always the same thing when we stay. myluc and father stay upstairs chatting about stuff and his mom heads out to her garden and I go downstairs for my cable fix of Trading Spaces, Clean Sweep, While You Were Out and anything else on the tube. Laundry gets finished and about noon they all come downstairs where we start a fire if it's chilly and watch a movie. Coneheads was the unanimous pick. myluc and I headed out about 2, stopped at Safeway to pick up dinner, wing it stop at M & M's for soup and onion rings and a pie. I love their pie. And then home to veg.

Monday

Didn't unload the laundry bag yet. Scrounging for work clothes and o'course socks. Myluc's black ones are all in the laundry bag and those are the ones I want. Up at 530 to give Trigger his meds is getting kinda old cuz he's a pain inthe mule to give meds to. He bit me this morning and spit out his pill. The second went down no problem. He's just not one you can give milk or cheese or even tuna to too help with the medicating. Oh well, whatcha gonna do. Work was okay. The day flew by. Was my night to cook. Watched movies. Heard about Groupanoid's costume. She said it was absolutely fantastic and everyone loved it and there was material left over. Tremendous! I'm so glad it worked out for her. Made my morning.

Tuesday

The day dragged.

(...to be continued)