Itsa Monday day today. It's raining outside and it's gloomy and it totally matches my mood.

My weekend started awesomely. I went to a bransle (brawl) (Medieaval Dance and Play) with my friend Jules and was totally looking forward to seeing my old bandmates from Folk Heroes who are now Toot-A-Lute. I was lucky enough to be missed, as I heard constantly and I danced some dances (Dargasons and Monavue *prob spelled all wrong*). But it was different. I don't know what it was. I wasn't as comfortable as I thought I'd be. I guess that's what happens after months of being away from the SCA and all it entailed.

I got to see my ex-beau "O". I can't really call him my bf cuz we were really together for the lovin'. He was the one guy who loved hangin' with me cuz I never wanted anything from him. We could sit in silence and just be. It was awesome. One of my favourite memories is of us lying on the couch, his head on my bosum....sleepin' like a wee babe and me reading a book. For hours we'd do this..rouse ourselves for the loo or to munch or to go for a walk. But more often than not we'd cuddle and he'd gain the sleep he lost flutterin' around pleasin' everyone, lookin' for something. Our relationship ended after I watched him fall...I can't say in love cuz I don't think it was .. but I watched him waltz with this woman (who for the life of me I can't remember her name just the nic that Jules and I gave her...oh the crazy spanish chick...). They waltzed and I watched him place his hand on her face, gaze into her eyes and fall. I knew then that that was our end. It wasn't that horrid though because I knew that our lovin' was fleeting...he was looking for his soulmate and I wasn't her nor did I intend to be.

Anyways, I did the hug rounds ... cuz I like to ... and then I watched O's current love...crying so hard over losing O. She lasted longer than 3 months but only because she asked him not to leave her at Christmas. He obliged and then "poof" done. I gathered the various tidbits of O's life over the current months and he's been fluttering around and now he's found someone else ...go figure... *shrug* Until he finds the one...he's going to be a fluttering player. I just wish him happiness and love. And o'course I'll send good vibes his way.

**To be continued**