January 22, 2014 ~ Last day of Paddling :(

Little did I know that the trainer for tonight actually does the training for the Dragon Boat teams in the summer. His name was Eric. He called the Hut Ho and he called suggestions for better positioning and he pushed me til my arm muscles trembled.

It was kinda awesome.

Another bright clear star shiny night. All aboard and away we went. I still was nervous and panicky but with the suggestions offered, I believe I did okay.

They all joked about how they Dragon Boat just for the beer gardens. It's not an easy task and I knew I'd be sore the next day but I did my best to keep up with everyone.

For once the one behind me kept splashing (I say once but this was only my third time Paddling).

Afterwards we went to the Glo Bar for a drink and appy. This is a great group but I just can't commit to anything yet. Maybe next season. They are a tight group and the saying is "What's said in the group stays in the group". I was a ok with that.

Stretched and then one of the ladies, Stella, drove me home. Very nice of her. I was zonkered.

Awoke the next morning and had to pack for my Pirate Adventure but boy, oh boy, lifting my arms was quite the challenge.

The cost is $95 til the end of March then $200-$300 for the Dragon Boat season. I will do my best to save up but my Vancouver volunteering committments mean a lot to me.

We shall see.

January 20, 2014 ~ Boxing #4

Be Aggressive, B E Aggressive. Stupid words from that Cheerleading movie with Kirsten Dunst. It works though, the red gloves, the words, the hurt and anger that I am feeling from a variety of sources. Grrr...punch, punch, jab.

Monday morning .. oh vey. I type that but in all honesty it was a great morning.

My friend Steph (from high school who has been in Sydney housesitting while her parents are in New Zealand and who lives in Edmonton, who set me up with Nicole for Recreational Outrigger Paddling *phew*) came for dinner Sunday night. I made lasagna, she brought salad, we drank a bottle of wine, had some oreos with the blueberry squeak (blueberries, sugar and vodka that had been soaking since June 2013) and gabbed, gossiped, cried, laughed, talked...all the above. It was fantastic!

Steph spent the night and when I awoke, I made us some coffee and we chatted. No rush this morning because she was going to drive me in to work.

Arrive, two people out ill and that leaves two out of three left...one more was having her flex day. I cannot wait until my flex day begins once I am a permanent employee in this Government office.

Long day, very long...and so I begin texting randomly..his and hellos, check out fb, emails, etc. AND THEN the capper...the aggression switch

To begin with...in January I begin planning my year. There are certain volunteer events that I do and participate in and visiting that needs to be planned. Most of my people understand that..BUT there is always that one person in our lives that can upset us quicker than quick, quicker than a greyhound at the races after that freakin' fluffy bunny, a drunk on a bender to get that last drop that eludes them at the bottom of the glass, that frantic pushing of the button to make sure your hungry, hungry hippo gets the last marble.

Backstory, in December my bestfriend's father passed away. We knew it was coming but the when was uncertain. I could not attend the funeral because I worked two jobs and getting to the location was not something I was able to do. She understood this and we communicated all the days through it. After the funeral a memorial date was set and I worked around my calendar and no problem, we were going to have a few days camping and having fun and both of us were super excited that I could a) do the volunteer gig, b) have one on one time and c) attend her dad's memorial.

The text said, plans have changed ...going to the memorial the day before and then heading up to whereever to attend his nephews graduation. My response, no worries, I won't pland for the week and unfortunately won't be able to come and attend your dad's memorial. Her response. Sorry. My response, ah well..we will just have to figure out another time to see each other. Can't fret about it.

Mature and no blame...in text. In my head a huge blazing ball of fury. WTF? What about me? Did she even think about me? She's in a relationship and I need to step back..again...way freakin' back. BREATHE MELISSA...freakin' BREATHE.

Needless to say, when I put my gloves on and began my circuit my head was so busy but on the ball that the Instructor bare came up to correct my stance or hitting and the 30 minutes flew by. Too fast. I wanted to go again...and again. Until I was too tired to think. Got home and checked marked my calendar for the exercise day was accomplished. YAY! Good job.

Sat down and thought about me and my feelings and what I need to do to get out of this negative headspace. I have learned over these last few years that I am worth it. I am worth the time that people wish to share with me. I can no longer be in a position to be upset when things don't work out...that is life.

And sometimes life sucks and then you throw the lollipop stick away and GET OVER IT! Tomorrow is another day.

~Family~

After speaking with my Mom and Uncle at Christmaas they suggested I go onto facebook and connect with their cousin who lives in Victoria. Since this is a year of "Why Not"...why not indeed.

Vida contacted me right away and invited me to breakfast ... she would pay. Of course, I balked at her paying but going for breakfast, yes please.

She picked me up with a text that read "waiting in a read pos out front". Kay, my first thought was ... hmmm...black sheep? I got into the car and there she was. White hair with spiky purple and pink bangs, pierced nose and lip, one of those piercings by the eye and the most welcoming smile that I didn't know I had been missing.

Away we went and to Floyd's Diner. We started talking right away and poof..the hours flew by and she needed to leave. Currently the family only had one vehicle and she had to get it home so that her son Cameron could take it to socce, of which he either plays or coaches. I couldn't recall.

She said, we will see you soon, have you over for dinner. You can't get away from us now.

Happy tears!!

On Saturday, January 20, 2014, Vida came and picked me up for dinner. Initially I had told her that I needed to be picked up at 4p and home by 8p because I needed to sleep for my night job. Little did I know I would be let go on the Friday and that I would have time to be with the family.

She was so excited to be driving her new to her silver subaru wagon. Her own vehicle. It was quite funny. She was also excited to entertain and make new recipes for dinner. This night was mexican. Chicken enchiladas, refried beans and mexican rice. Spicy, spicy.

First to greet me was her son Cameron and his girlfrieng Emily. Cameron had had his wisdome teeth out the previous day and was still pretty loopy. In school taking criminal something or other. Going for his Masters. Smark freakin' kid. Emily was quite and very nice. Making certain that I felt welcome.

Next to enter was her daughter Kailey. Vida hadn't told her I'd be there so she was a little surprised. She had had a disagreement with her beau Lee and from what I could tell was not happy. We had a lively discussion and bashing of boys. It was very cool to see her relationship with her mom.

After dinner we were relaxing watching something on tv and the conversation became roundabout. It was fun to watch, listen to and participate in.

Last to come home was Zane's twin Cameron and his girlfriend Becky. Slimmer than Zane but nonetheless smart as a whip (Gramma's coming through right there). Also very welcoming and including.

There is another son who lives in Vancouver with his partner Dutch. Perhaps I will meet him in February when Kailey has invited me to another family dinner to celebrate her 26th birthday. Awww...super honored. She said, well, we are family. *happy tears*

Cool and weird. They welcomed me without hesitation and after Vida dropped me off I sent her a text thanking her for dinner and the company. She said that her kids thought I was pretty cool and looked forward to seeing me again. Awwww. It was a Happy Saturday filled with love and...family.

January 18, 2014 – Boxing Day Three

When the 7:00a alarm went off, I was confused. What day was it? A work day? But now, it was Saturday. Saturday morning and I was waking in my bed from an almost full nights sleep. Craziness.

But lo and behold where I have the 30 Min Hit posted on my wall, Open 8am to 12pm. Okey doke. Cats fed, watered and litter changed, bag packed and away I went.

Made it there by 9am and it felt good. Really, really good. The aggression was still there, kinda more so now that I didn’t have the night job any longer, anger that the Head of the House was dealing with a ship she was putting holes in. *sigh*

30 minutes later it was over, my pulse was good, my face and back were sweaty..and I felt great. Full of energy.

Home by 11am and then I just rested. These decisions that I am making not only affect me daily but will effect me for a lifetime.

~To thine own self be true~

January 16, 2014 ~ Boxing

2nd time...totally nervous. I had been babying my left thigh muscle all week, couldn't stretch that sucker to save my life.

Arrived and changed. Asked if my gloves had arrived. A nice bright red pair...I said I wanted red because it would remind me to be agressive and do my best. Little did I know that that stupid phrase would rebound around and around my noggin the entire 30 minutes.

To begin I skipped rope...20x before I have to restart. Watched my breathing. Listened for the move it chime and away I went.

Gloves on and jab, left right until the chime then fast, again the chime slow and then fast (4x) approximately. Each time I counted to see how many I could do in the time period. Tonight's instructor was Megan. She caught on and laughed.

Then the next station was core, crunches on the exercise ball...thank goodness you didn't need to speed up for that one.

The stations are upper body, lower body and core...13 stations I believe.

By the time I got to the front kick my heart rate was up and I was feeling good. Proud of myself for not stopping.

Thankfully I believe I have figured out that I need to eat at 3:30pm in order not be nauseaus when I reach the halfway station.

Finished and stretched. This time time flew. I do believe that 2x a week is doable and maybe once I'm down to one job maybe even 3x.

Good Job Seifrit!

January 15, 2014 ~ Outrigger Paddling

Initially I was just going to attend and cross this item off my bucket list, Paddling. It was going to be a one time thing and then I’d move to the next item and adventure. Little did I know that Nicole would turn out to be an amazing instructor and the other three members (Ben and the two ladies whose names I don’t recall) would be so very welcoming.

I arrived early, cuz that’s the way I roll..and waited. Nicole arrived by way of “Is that a Melissa?” My response was a cheeky...it could be “The Melissa”..that seemed to break the ice. They brought me into the room and told me to grab a pfd and that they’d find me a paddle. I was a little taller than everyone there so I went through a few before Nicole was satisfied. Back on the dock she sat me on the bench and gave me a quick lesson. She said, “It’ll be better on the water”...I started to think , back out now, before you are in the water, it’ll be easier..but then talked myself into sticking to it. She also said listen for the cues, Hut...ready and Ho..switch sides. A fluid moment to keep us in a forward motion. Okey dokey.

We went down to an Outrigger, I had to google this because I had no idea ... a long skinny canoe with two sticks and a buoy. Now, I know how large my ass is and that little teeny slender seat looked daunting. We pushed the Outrigger into the water and everyone climbed in. My immediate thought was, oh hell, I’m going to pee my pants I am so scared next to I’m going to fly over the side and just feckin’ breathe. Next I got my butt onto that skinny seat and knew that I wasn’t going to be going anywhere, I was locked in tight.

Nicole started getting us out on the water, told me to watch the lady sitting in front of pen, blonde ponytail blue jacket. She’d be the one that I needed to watch. And away we went, Nicole corrected my posture and hold on the paddle (of which I had a death grip). Ben was the caller (I am sure he has a special name) and immediately just Ho’d...I panicked and said wait wait, that wasn’t what I just learned. They laughed and agreed that this time, they’d Hut and Ho just for me.

The water was black, I was afraid of splashing, still of falling in and the night sky was clear(ish). I asked the Goddess to help me remain calm and get me back to shore (along with everyone else) safely.

At the halfway point, we had a rest and Ben turned in his seat so that I could see proper frame for paddling, keep the top arm straight (like you are mixing from your chin) and your bottom arm close to the paddle...straight down parallel to the boat (I just kept my focus on Ben and then the lady in front of him..constantly).

We turned around and back we went. Nicole kept saying "Top Arm" and I'd straighten. My concentration was fierce. The sound of the paddles, the Hut Ho'ing from Ben..the feeling that we were going at a pretty good pace and I was doing pretty good. It was awesome.

Closer to the dock the ladies yelled how's she doing and Nicole's response was..she hasn't even had a break. That made me smile and pat myself on the back (in my head that is).

We parked (I don't know how else to say it) and everyone got out. I was pretty pleased that I hadn't gotten that wet. My shoes a little damp because of getting in but little did I know...pulling the Outrigger back up onto the dock I stepped forward a little too far, right into the water. Aaah well.

As we were heading back up so that I could return the pfd and paddle they asked me what I thought. My response. See you next Wednesday!

Pretty proud of myself for totally getting out of my comfort zone.

January 14, 2014 ~ Accountable

This is the name of the game.

Currently I work Mon to Fri, 9a to 5p and then Thurs, Fri and Sat nights 9p or 11p to either 7a, 9a or 11a.

Come February I was supposed to work only Fri and Sat BUT today I decided to make a change.

I want to be healthy this year.  I have already been implementing a healthier eating plan, NOT a diet, cuz then I talk myself out of what I'm doing.

I am going to be accountable.  Today I weigh 265, my measurements are:

Upper arm: 13"
Chest: 47"
Waist: 41"
Hips 52"
R. Thigh 31"
L. Thigh 33"

I know I can be proud of myself because I can fit into size 18 and 20 pants and I am no longer 60" around.

~

This is a big week.

Today I joined 30 Min Hit and I went after work, got there about 6p, finished and then home by 8p.

While this has been on my mind for a while today I took a chance on me.  I signed up for one year.

I will be accountable and do my best to be there 2x or 3x a week.  No more, and absolutely not less.

~~

I will do my best to be accountable as well to update this blog.  It's been something that I look at but haven't done.  I follow a lot.  I am online a lot.  No matter how short even if it's just ... went and did it.  Is something.

~~~

I Will Accomplish this ... day by day.  I will make myself proud and work on calming my spirit and soul with the aggression that I will be able to work out.  *fingers crossed* at least that's the plan.

~~~~

For now, Day One...done.