Choices

I decided that no one should be afeared of their pet (ie: Trigger) and since I had been told he was unadoptable, I must make a choice. I made an appointment at the Vet on Saturday.

It was the hardest choice to make but it's been a year of medicating him in the morning, watching his every move in case his hair"trigger" temper goes off, cleaning up Mickey's wounds (myLuc's cat), cleaning up our wounds, making sure there's a blanket in every room so we could bundle him up and put him in the bathroom... It's just not right. I am tired.

I don't want to be scared of my pet anymore. I want to sleep through the night without waking and getting angry at him for scratching the walls. When he's good he's really good and cute, doing somersaults n' all but when he's bad it's hades.

I talked to myLuc and I told him that I don't feel guilty about putting Trigger to sleep. I can't give him to someone who needs a second to hold him while he is being medicated, to cut his nails, to watch your back in case....

I do feel guilty because I didn't do something. Anything that could have stopped the attacks...that's what the meds were for and then he fought those and now he's back to being super aggressive.

I'm just so tired of crying and being scared of my cat. It's wrong.