I can totally believe that people will/may/have done these things.

THINGS TO DO IN A PUBLIC RESTROOM
1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
2. Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4. Say, "Damn, this water's cold."
5. Drop a marble and say, "Ahhhh! My glass eye!"
6. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
10. Say, "Interesting... more floaters than sinkers."
11. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?"
12. Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the fettuccine alfredo you had for breakfast.
13. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."
14. Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
15. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
16. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
17. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"


Now that you're all grossed out...let me tell you that I was googling for bodily functions for a quote of the day to go along with my smelly skytrain story but came across the above. It's not really me but some of them are pretty freakin' funny.

I got on the skytrain today and was seated behind an older gentleman. Half of the trip was my covering my nose and mouth with my hand straining the air that was entering my lungs because the gentleman seated in front of me was doing a very good impression of a "weeble wobble" toy. First his left butt cheek and then his right...rocking almost the entire way to downtown Vancouver. He had cleared a pretty impressive area around him and as this is the morning skytrain, which is always packed like a Japanese Subway....you get the picture.

I didn't want to move and give up my seat cuz I was pretty happy earlier on getting a seat but let me tell you, I should've exercised my legs cuz then I could've expanded my lungs fully.

I and about 20 other people on the skytrain exited at Burrard like bullets outta a gun. I swear we all got to the upper level, under the rainy sky and were like "halleluiah...we made it!"

That's my story for this rainy, gloomy Wednesday morning.

*HUGS*