Quote of the Day: You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. ~ H. Youngman
I'm somewhat blue this morning and have a heavy heart. I know it's for the best that my little bro ("Stretch") move to Creston to get away from the negativity in his life but I will miss him terribly.
Stretch and I grew up with an extreme hatred for each other. So much that Mom would lock us in the addition and let us go at it. We'd bite, hit, kick, punch, blacken each other up. I guess that was our way of purging the anger we received when our father would decided to have a "day".
Let me tell ya, until I was fifteen, there were a tremendous lot of "days". My Dad would come home after working at the Coal Mine and find something, anything, a little tiny thing and he'd start, I'd be first being the eldest, then Stretch and then Sprout....but in actuality only Stretch and I received the worst of it cuz by the time he'd be ready for a go around with Sprout our Mom would step in. I try to recall any good memories that I have of my childhood, I remember Dad and Mom going out and him smelling of Old Spice, and that'd be erased by being thrown across the room by my throat. Saddling Buck to go riding, that'd be erased by him hitting one of the horses with a two x four for holding it's breath so he couldn't get the saddle cinch tight. *sigh*
Anyways, the saying that Stretch and I share is that we credit our past for the people we are at present. I chose to get the Phoenix tattoo because for me it stood for rebirth - through hell to a much better place. Stretch has chosen dragons because they stand for strength and mastery - he is the master of his own fate/destiny.
For the last couple of weeks Stretch has been MIA. Sorta. From what I could figure, he went back to the Kootenays to escape his girlfriend/common law of 7 years. He didn't tell anyone. He just left. I telephone my Mom every couple of weeks for a "Hiya, Howsit" conversation and she mentioned that he was there and heading home. Okay I thought cool, MyLuc and I can get our videos and I can get a visit in when he's home.
Now I didn't know what was going on at all. I telephoned his gf and she said that they'd had a fight and it was over ... again. This time for sure. And me being me I'd listen and insert the suitable okay, uh huh, yes, right's into the correct spots in the conversation.
Monday night, MyLuc and I were having some time to ourselves and had gone to bed. It was 10 and the phone rang. We looked at the Caller ID, it's Stretch. He'll call back.
Tuesday, there was a message on my cell from Stretch, garbled and unclear that he'd be by Wednesday to drop some stuff off that he had for me about 4:30 and a number. *sigh* couldn't catch the number for the life of me. Got home, called for the message on the voicemail from Stretch, wasn't Stretch was the girlfriend. Call Search and Rescue she pleaded...I don't know where your brother is. I telephoned her to get the 411 and she was all, nope, he's in town somewhere, don't worry about it. Okaaay. *shrug* Hopefully Stretch'll call. He didn't and I went to bed worried and teary cuz I didn't know where he was. MyLuc tried to comfort me by saying he's like you a survivor, he'll be fine. I know I know, but I'm the big sister, I worry.
Wednesday, another message from Stretch. He'll stop by about 4:30. That doesn't work for me cuz I don't get home til 5. Call MyLuc, yep he'll be there. Okay. So I get home, and wait, no phone calls, nothing. 7 comes by and there's Stretch yelling from the alley to our balcony, come down! I go downstairs and he's loaded his life into his car. He's leaving for Creston in the morning. He looks so weary and sad. His coworker helped him load a truck with boxes and then he'd emptied the boxes into the car. It's so full. Stretch tells me that Mom has sent some stuff. My big bird chair which is so another story, Dad's wife Charlotte *gag* had packed some pictures n' stuff, she's packed a box for each one of us as she's only wanting "her" family in the house. Totally fine with me. Whatever. And MyLuc's movies with the books I had lent the girlfriend. I invite him up. MyLuc goes to have shower and leaves us alone. Stretch tells me his side of the story.
I'm somewhat blue this morning and have a heavy heart. I know it's for the best that my little bro ("Stretch") move to Creston to get away from the negativity in his life but I will miss him terribly.
Stretch and I grew up with an extreme hatred for each other. So much that Mom would lock us in the addition and let us go at it. We'd bite, hit, kick, punch, blacken each other up. I guess that was our way of purging the anger we received when our father would decided to have a "day".
Let me tell ya, until I was fifteen, there were a tremendous lot of "days". My Dad would come home after working at the Coal Mine and find something, anything, a little tiny thing and he'd start, I'd be first being the eldest, then Stretch and then Sprout....but in actuality only Stretch and I received the worst of it cuz by the time he'd be ready for a go around with Sprout our Mom would step in. I try to recall any good memories that I have of my childhood, I remember Dad and Mom going out and him smelling of Old Spice, and that'd be erased by being thrown across the room by my throat. Saddling Buck to go riding, that'd be erased by him hitting one of the horses with a two x four for holding it's breath so he couldn't get the saddle cinch tight. *sigh*
Anyways, the saying that Stretch and I share is that we credit our past for the people we are at present. I chose to get the Phoenix tattoo because for me it stood for rebirth - through hell to a much better place. Stretch has chosen dragons because they stand for strength and mastery - he is the master of his own fate/destiny.
For the last couple of weeks Stretch has been MIA. Sorta. From what I could figure, he went back to the Kootenays to escape his girlfriend/common law of 7 years. He didn't tell anyone. He just left. I telephone my Mom every couple of weeks for a "Hiya, Howsit" conversation and she mentioned that he was there and heading home. Okay I thought cool, MyLuc and I can get our videos and I can get a visit in when he's home.
Now I didn't know what was going on at all. I telephoned his gf and she said that they'd had a fight and it was over ... again. This time for sure. And me being me I'd listen and insert the suitable okay, uh huh, yes, right's into the correct spots in the conversation.
Monday night, MyLuc and I were having some time to ourselves and had gone to bed. It was 10 and the phone rang. We looked at the Caller ID, it's Stretch. He'll call back.
Tuesday, there was a message on my cell from Stretch, garbled and unclear that he'd be by Wednesday to drop some stuff off that he had for me about 4:30 and a number. *sigh* couldn't catch the number for the life of me. Got home, called for the message on the voicemail from Stretch, wasn't Stretch was the girlfriend. Call Search and Rescue she pleaded...I don't know where your brother is. I telephoned her to get the 411 and she was all, nope, he's in town somewhere, don't worry about it. Okaaay. *shrug* Hopefully Stretch'll call. He didn't and I went to bed worried and teary cuz I didn't know where he was. MyLuc tried to comfort me by saying he's like you a survivor, he'll be fine. I know I know, but I'm the big sister, I worry.
Wednesday, another message from Stretch. He'll stop by about 4:30. That doesn't work for me cuz I don't get home til 5. Call MyLuc, yep he'll be there. Okay. So I get home, and wait, no phone calls, nothing. 7 comes by and there's Stretch yelling from the alley to our balcony, come down! I go downstairs and he's loaded his life into his car. He's leaving for Creston in the morning. He looks so weary and sad. His coworker helped him load a truck with boxes and then he'd emptied the boxes into the car. It's so full. Stretch tells me that Mom has sent some stuff. My big bird chair which is so another story, Dad's wife Charlotte *gag* had packed some pictures n' stuff, she's packed a box for each one of us as she's only wanting "her" family in the house. Totally fine with me. Whatever. And MyLuc's movies with the books I had lent the girlfriend. I invite him up. MyLuc goes to have shower and leaves us alone. Stretch tells me his side of the story.
In short, he's 26 and wants children, she's 45 mom and grandma, she was pushing him so much that he had gotten so angry he wanted to hit her. He left. Did some thinking. Needs to leave and start new and get away from the negativity. Their friends were actually her friends and have given him no shoulder or ear. He's been in his car for the last couple of days sleeping cuz he doesn't have money for a hotel just for gas. He's outta her on the 30th.
I get a little teary, I understand that when it comes to violence we agree that if it comes into the home that's the end of the home. I told MyLuc before we started the relationship that if we ever came to a point where either of us wanted to get violent, that's it. No second chances that's the end. He tells me that in Creston he's got friends he considers family, he can get work and start saving up again for the future. He's paid all of the bills, rent for the month she just needs to get out on her own and mature. I told him that I understand that he's very independent and can do a whack on his own but he needs to call every once in a while. Maybe not for an actual conversation but just to let me know he's out there. I invited Stretch to stay, well actually I invited Stretch to have shower. He was kinda ripe. He grinned his crooked grin at me and said "Yeah, you're cats are looking a little wobbly after smelling my socks." He had his shower. He told MyLuc that he better take care of me and treat me right. Gave me a hug and walked out.
I cried myself to sleep knowing that my little brother is a good man who has a head on his shoulders and a heart that has been trampled. MyLuc held me until I fell asleep.
This morning waking up I'm still a little blue but I know that he'll be okay.
*HUGE HUGS*
If you've made it this far through my blog. Thank you for reading.
I get a little teary, I understand that when it comes to violence we agree that if it comes into the home that's the end of the home. I told MyLuc before we started the relationship that if we ever came to a point where either of us wanted to get violent, that's it. No second chances that's the end. He tells me that in Creston he's got friends he considers family, he can get work and start saving up again for the future. He's paid all of the bills, rent for the month she just needs to get out on her own and mature. I told him that I understand that he's very independent and can do a whack on his own but he needs to call every once in a while. Maybe not for an actual conversation but just to let me know he's out there. I invited Stretch to stay, well actually I invited Stretch to have shower. He was kinda ripe. He grinned his crooked grin at me and said "Yeah, you're cats are looking a little wobbly after smelling my socks." He had his shower. He told MyLuc that he better take care of me and treat me right. Gave me a hug and walked out.
I cried myself to sleep knowing that my little brother is a good man who has a head on his shoulders and a heart that has been trampled. MyLuc held me until I fell asleep.
This morning waking up I'm still a little blue but I know that he'll be okay.
*HUGE HUGS*
If you've made it this far through my blog. Thank you for reading.
3 comments:
Wow. This is so personal and touching. Hope all is well and thanks for stopping by my blog. Yes, I read the entire post. ;-)
Thank you g.d.!
I hope your bro is alright ... sounds like he has a pretty level head on his shoulders though. Maybe getting away will be good for him. I agree with you about the past shaping the person you are today ... it may have been crappy, but you wouldn't be the person you are today without that past. That's my theory anyways! Hang in there ...
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