February 25, 2014 ~ Boxing #7

There are really only two requirements when it comes to exercise. One is that you do it. The other is that you continue to do it. ~The New Glucose Revolution for Diabetes by Jennie Brand-Miller, Kaye Foster-Powell, Stephen Colagiuri, Alan W. Barclay

An hour of basketball feels like 15 minutes. An hour on a treadmill feels like a weekend in traffic school. ~David Walters

Exercise relieves stress. Nothing relieves exercise. ~Animal Crossing: Wild World (Nintendo video game) written by Takayuki Ikkaku, Arisa Hosaka, and Toshihiro Kawabata

The best six doctors anywhere And no one can deny it Are sunshine, water, rest, and air Exercise and diet. These six will gladly you attend If only you are willing Your mind they'll ease Your will they'll mend And charge you not a shilling. ~Nursery rhyme quoted by Wayne Fields, What the River Knows, 1990

February 19, 2014 ~ Boxing #6

Procrastination thy name is Seifrit.

For good reason I had not attended the gym. Initially I was worried my IBS was acting up again and once you are in the kickboxing circuit, it isn't really recommended you leave. Sooo...I didn't go. AND THEN I had the flu and there was no way I was going to disease other members. AND THEN the weather sucked.

But I did it. I jumped rope in 20's...who knew. *pats self on back* And punched, kicked, kneed and crunched my way til my hair was sweating.

Each punch I took I kept thinking, if you don't do it you won't do it. Don't get depressed, work it out. Over and over in my head.

I hate my brain sometimes. With the weather here in Victoria being so sporadically rainy, and not even rainy. Freakin' misty soak you through drops that are kinda pointless to put up an umbrella rain. AND THEN not being home to clean and then taking the time and getting angry because of all the cat hair. Stupid vicious cycle.

Myran is now here living in Leah. March 22nd is the wedding date. I want it here and done. I want her to be happy it's all done. Her accident settlement done. Their move to a larger place. Done. I want them to be happy.

Stupid brain.

But I did it, and I will do it again. I will do my damndest to make me a priority.

February 10, 2014 ~ Random Acts of Kindness

It really is the small things that help the heart fill with love, light and the hope to lift someone's spirits...even a little.

Came back through the Ferry terminal heading homeward and lo and behold an amazing array of people. Young, old, marrieds, singles, groups..and the freakin' amount of luggage. Oh be still my heart.

As I stood there shaking my head at the vast array and selection of luggage people were lugging around I was astounded to realize that not too many of them knew about the luggage drop off at the entrance to the wait area once you receive your ticket.

Boarding the ferry, amidst the jostling and the anger and yes, even some tears of frustration at the burden of dragging their stuff, I made it. I found a seat. A seat amidst the chaos. It was a close one tho. The ferry was at max capacity for passengers.

When one has more than a purse or backpack the ferry adventure begins. you have to decide if you can trust your seatmate IF a) you have to go to the bathroom and b) if you'd like to stand in the line up for something to eat or drink.

I stood in line for my sandwich and just mentally shook my head at all the people that were standing there with their luggage, balancing their trays and trying to figure out who to get through the people, through the line up and then to the cashier.

I found a two set and asked if I could share the table. I am not afraid to ask. Finished my sandwhich and then decided to loop around and check for a seat for the rest of the trip.

Although they ask that you don't put your feet on the seats nor your luggage and that the ferry was at full capacity so please share, so many people just disregarded that whole thing. AND then you see the people looking for the plug ins for their technology, be it a laptop, cell phone or tablet. People are funny.

I found a set of four and asked if anyone was sitting there. There was one lady with her giant suitcase, a brief case and an overnight bag. She was taking up three seats. Again, mentally shaking my head I situated myself with my laptop (thank goodness fully charged although I had scoped out the plug in that was above me underneath the television set) and began watching Parker with my headphones on.

Although I was watching the movie I was very much aware of those around me and I was watching the lady start to squirm in her seat. Either bathroom or food, is she going to ask me or is she not? Those thoughts kept swirling around in my head. Sure enough, would you mind watching my bag while I go to the bathroom? No problem. Are you going to still sit there? At that she gave me a strange look and I just said that everyone was looking for seating so if she was going to stay seated where she was she had better place something there. Makes sense, she replied and off she went.

When she returned, it seemed like a long while after, she seemed to be in a friendlier and chattier mood. I did want to watch the movie but, okay. I will be polite.

Helen was coming over to the Island for training with the bank. She was on a six week course and this was her second visit to the island. I did mention to her that there was a luggage drop off and she was aghast. Seriously? Why don't they tell people? Definitely next time she would use it as yes, it makes sense to drop everything off and then pick it up on the other side. I then asked her if she was taking transit, knowing that if she said yes, for the next two hours I would definitely have a new friend. Oh no, she saved her company money by taking the ferry instead of helijet, she was catching a cab.

AND THEN she asked me what I was doing and I said probably queuing up with everyone else. She gave me a look, gauging me as a person I believe and then offered me a ride downtown. I was aghast. Seriously? She said yes, you did me a good turn by mentioning the luggage drop off and that is huge. You seem like a nice girl, why not.

And that dear reader is how I got back to my apartment by 915p instead of 11p.

February 4, 2014 ~ Boxing #5

It's true what they say, it takes time to break habits and longer to create new ones that stick..

Even though I have only attended at 30 Min Hit a few times, I do feel stronger. I feel stronger in my arms and in my legs. I still count how many I can do each 15 seconds for the minute...and the number is climbing..

I still can't freakin' jump rope. When I do actually do more than 5 in a row I get so excited and then fumble and the cannot..and then can...and then cannot. I work up a sweat doing just that bit..

Today I worked out the frustration of not knowing where I will be workwise in a week..

I am an employee of an Agency who has been hired by the RevTax office. My space is an end bit at desk placed at the back of a boardroom. Today everything has to be boxed up and placed in an empty space so that the boardroom space can be renovated to create two offices and a small support staff area. .

Great in theory. But where am I to go? Luckily (or not) two lawyers are not going to be in the office and I can go into their space..until Tuesday. And then?.

I asked the Manager if perhaps I should go to the Agency to see if they can find me work for a month or so. I don't have files assigned to me and there would be nothing left in limbo. That way, I would still be an employee BUT they wouldn't have to worry about finding me a corner...she didn't like that at all..

So tonight as I punch and breathe and count...I work out the frustrations of the not known in my current employment situation..

Well that AND not having the double pay of my day job and my night job...is a little frustrating. I know I can manage just fine, I did it before with just the one job...but for that two month period..it was nice having backup..

Punch - money, punch - space, jab - bills, right cross - grrrrrr

~Friendships~

Drama comes in many forms. Quietly until it's so loud it shatters any peace of mind you claim that you have had or like a freight train when you are standing too close to the rails.

I am a good person, a good friend, an honest and patient woman. There is a trust placed in me which honors my heart and makes me feel warm and wanted.

BUT this weekend was hard. I stepped up and tried to bring calm to an otherwise chaotic scheming person who all innocently, what me? Made me cry and burble over until luckily I was calm and told myself..me. I did a good thing, I kept the crazy away from others, I kept the peace. I did that.

Whenever you get a group together of course there is going to be some kind of drama. I had planned to participate in a holiday event and smile and shine out of pictures, that either I had taken or others.

But was I? Almost forgotten I felt because I had saved the others from the drama because I didn't want sadness to enter into everyone's fun.

I have come through the fire, burned, scorched and renewed.

I am happy because I choose to be.

I cried because I needed a release.

And with two double dipped mary jane soaked almond joys, copius amount of mai tai, rum, beer and laughter...I had a great time!

But let's not repeat that any time soon...so I promise myself.

January 22, 2014 ~ Last day of Paddling :(

Little did I know that the trainer for tonight actually does the training for the Dragon Boat teams in the summer. His name was Eric. He called the Hut Ho and he called suggestions for better positioning and he pushed me til my arm muscles trembled.

It was kinda awesome.

Another bright clear star shiny night. All aboard and away we went. I still was nervous and panicky but with the suggestions offered, I believe I did okay.

They all joked about how they Dragon Boat just for the beer gardens. It's not an easy task and I knew I'd be sore the next day but I did my best to keep up with everyone.

For once the one behind me kept splashing (I say once but this was only my third time Paddling).

Afterwards we went to the Glo Bar for a drink and appy. This is a great group but I just can't commit to anything yet. Maybe next season. They are a tight group and the saying is "What's said in the group stays in the group". I was a ok with that.

Stretched and then one of the ladies, Stella, drove me home. Very nice of her. I was zonkered.

Awoke the next morning and had to pack for my Pirate Adventure but boy, oh boy, lifting my arms was quite the challenge.

The cost is $95 til the end of March then $200-$300 for the Dragon Boat season. I will do my best to save up but my Vancouver volunteering committments mean a lot to me.

We shall see.

January 20, 2014 ~ Boxing #4

Be Aggressive, B E Aggressive. Stupid words from that Cheerleading movie with Kirsten Dunst. It works though, the red gloves, the words, the hurt and anger that I am feeling from a variety of sources. Grrr...punch, punch, jab.

Monday morning .. oh vey. I type that but in all honesty it was a great morning.

My friend Steph (from high school who has been in Sydney housesitting while her parents are in New Zealand and who lives in Edmonton, who set me up with Nicole for Recreational Outrigger Paddling *phew*) came for dinner Sunday night. I made lasagna, she brought salad, we drank a bottle of wine, had some oreos with the blueberry squeak (blueberries, sugar and vodka that had been soaking since June 2013) and gabbed, gossiped, cried, laughed, talked...all the above. It was fantastic!

Steph spent the night and when I awoke, I made us some coffee and we chatted. No rush this morning because she was going to drive me in to work.

Arrive, two people out ill and that leaves two out of three left...one more was having her flex day. I cannot wait until my flex day begins once I am a permanent employee in this Government office.

Long day, very long...and so I begin texting randomly..his and hellos, check out fb, emails, etc. AND THEN the capper...the aggression switch

To begin with...in January I begin planning my year. There are certain volunteer events that I do and participate in and visiting that needs to be planned. Most of my people understand that..BUT there is always that one person in our lives that can upset us quicker than quick, quicker than a greyhound at the races after that freakin' fluffy bunny, a drunk on a bender to get that last drop that eludes them at the bottom of the glass, that frantic pushing of the button to make sure your hungry, hungry hippo gets the last marble.

Backstory, in December my bestfriend's father passed away. We knew it was coming but the when was uncertain. I could not attend the funeral because I worked two jobs and getting to the location was not something I was able to do. She understood this and we communicated all the days through it. After the funeral a memorial date was set and I worked around my calendar and no problem, we were going to have a few days camping and having fun and both of us were super excited that I could a) do the volunteer gig, b) have one on one time and c) attend her dad's memorial.

The text said, plans have changed ...going to the memorial the day before and then heading up to whereever to attend his nephews graduation. My response, no worries, I won't pland for the week and unfortunately won't be able to come and attend your dad's memorial. Her response. Sorry. My response, ah well..we will just have to figure out another time to see each other. Can't fret about it.

Mature and no blame...in text. In my head a huge blazing ball of fury. WTF? What about me? Did she even think about me? She's in a relationship and I need to step back..again...way freakin' back. BREATHE MELISSA...freakin' BREATHE.

Needless to say, when I put my gloves on and began my circuit my head was so busy but on the ball that the Instructor bare came up to correct my stance or hitting and the 30 minutes flew by. Too fast. I wanted to go again...and again. Until I was too tired to think. Got home and checked marked my calendar for the exercise day was accomplished. YAY! Good job.

Sat down and thought about me and my feelings and what I need to do to get out of this negative headspace. I have learned over these last few years that I am worth it. I am worth the time that people wish to share with me. I can no longer be in a position to be upset when things don't work out...that is life.

And sometimes life sucks and then you throw the lollipop stick away and GET OVER IT! Tomorrow is another day.